


the sky above us

by lilouleeloo



Category: K-pop, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: <- this one is FIRE, AS I SAID, Bang Chan is a Good Hyung, FYI, Fluff and Angst, Healing, I'm kidding, Lee Felix's (Stray Kids) Freckles, Like, Minor Character Death, Mirandy Year of Fun & Frolics, Multi, No Smut, Nothing to see here, Oh, SHUSH, Slice of Life, Tags Are Fun, a WHOLE lot of fluff, a whole lot, and fluff, because i wanna share, but since ao3 is a bish i must upload now, but there's angst, but well, but you never know, countryside, even though i hate angst, fluff is nice, go check them, good luck fam, i guess??, i have ideas, i have no idea how to use tags?, i love the suggestions tho, i will drop a smol part, i'm a sucker for happy endings while i read, im writing with no plot in mind, it's hella fun, it's uncomfy to write and read, love ya ao3, make that make sense, maybe also while i write, oh i hate smut btw, pretty stupid if you ask me, really - Freeform, tell me which one you got, that's it i guess?, there will be more to come, there's angst, why the hell does ao3 delete drafts after a month???, write a random word and then go though them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28119441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilouleeloo/pseuds/lilouleeloo
Summary: ill have to see later ihih. but well, long story short jisungs sets off from his hometown to go to his uncle's farm in the countryside, loaded with emotional trauma (dramatic ikr?). what he will find in those serene spring day might just ease all the pain he's been through, but who knows. maybe even the arrival of the one who's meant to be can't even help now. maybe it's too late.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Kudos: 3





	the sky above us

\---

It had been a while since he had last been able to breathe properly. Take one, big breath, and exhale. No pressure, no expectations, no need to keep up with the rushed world. All worries, gone.

He had missed the feeling of being in control of his own life, remembering only now how it felt like to be alive. And now that he was thinking about it, how could he not understand that he had been living with an invisible burden on his shoulders. Every day heavier. He kept his look to the ground, he had forgotten the beauty of the sky. The beautiful sky. _H_ _is sky_.

When he was younger, because of an harmless joke from his friends, he came to believe that his dreams had the ability to fly away from him. So, if in the morning, after waking up, he didn't remember them it was because they were now flying in the sky. He used to spend hours looking at the sky, be it clear or rainy, because, there, in that endless sky, were all the dreams he couldn't remember. At one point during his youth he had understood that dreams could not fly away and that they were most certainly not in the sky, roaming with no goal. Because let's be real, if every being had all their forgotten dream in the sky, how messy would that be? That's why Jisung thought that instead of the dreams he had at night, what was in the sky were the dreams and ambitions he could not achieve in that moment. This kept him sane, and happy, because he had had many dreams, so many, and most of them unachievable in that exact moment. It made him happy, to be able to raise his head, look at the sky and know that one day, one day all the dreams he entrusted to the sky will become reality.

(no this paragraph is not complete, but rn i have a writer's block, so bear with me please :) )

\---

He was now breathing, just breathing, enjoying the sweet breeze ruffling calmly his dark hair. Even though he felt totally at peace in the blindness of his closed eyes, he slightly opened them, getting used slowly at the intensity of the sun, warm and too yellow, until he was able to look at the entirety of the sky, never the same, always morphing. Keeping his dreams, he thought with a light laugh, remembering his past belief. Even if the sky was no longer his dream holder, it was gorgeous, white clouds moving along with the spring breeze, seldom partially shielding him from the light. He could see the motion of those clouds on his uncle's grassy lands, the movement of the flowing grass in line with the light wind. 

It was peaceful. The kind of peace he had needed for a long time. And finally he had achieved it.

When he looked back at that moment, he was certain that the amount of time he spent there could have been only barely above thirty minutes, but he came to know, thanks to Chan and Felix, that he disappeared. Completely. And for a long time at that.

"Seems like peace is timeless" Jisung mumbled under his breath, an amused smile tinted onto his lips. Chan gave him a confused look at the sight of a seemingly meaningless smile, so the boy quickly straightened his face out and started walking back towards the house. 

\---

Those tears tasted like blood, sweat and remorse. He just stared ahead of him, not shielding himself from the rain heavily pouring down on him, the shivers he occasionally felt the only reminder that he was still a human being, alive. His heart felt empty, though. A kind of void, no emotions whatsoever to help him cope with the pain.

He was alone now. Even his heart had left him

And the only thing he did, was laugh. An empty and raspy laugh, tears streaming down his face, a huge lump in his throat menacing to break down and make him scream, just restraining himself with self control. But he was weak right now, no strenght left in his mentally strained body. 

So he screamed. And screamed. Until his throat could not let out any sound that weren't ragged breaths, the sinking feeling in his chest alternating itself with an empty pain. He felt like he could see himself cry, be in pain, from the outside. Seeing himself like a stranger, detaching himself from the tearing feeling he had been feeling for the past hours. It wasn't helping the numbing pain, but this way he could pretend that this happened to someone else, not him, that his life did not totally change in the span of a few hours. 

And the rain still poured from the sky. For the broken boy, the droplets were unmistakably tears, falling to grieve his loss. And the boy had stopped doing anything to avoid the cold feeling, sinking down to even to his bones, because it could not compare to the void that was left instead of his heart.

"What a great way to start this new year" 

The broken laughter that escaped yet again from his mouth felt tasteless, tearful and unpleasant. He didn't want to laugh now, he could not anymore, it was something he did for her, and it felt wrong to do it again.

But he knew that he could not stop, he had to do it for her, keep smiling, breathing, living, existing. Live for her, for everything that she had done for him, the help, the support, the laughs. But he felt so tired, a kind of tiredness that came from exhaustion, but he couldn't fall asleep, he must not. He had to grieve. And keep doing it until he got used to the pain. 

He sat on the floor of the drenched street, not caring about the cold that infiltrated his bones and clothes, even though those were already wet. He took his head in his hands, covering his own eyes, feeling the tears coming down from them.

It was then he realized that it was real. 

"She isn't coming back"

"She's gone"

He felt like his own organism stopped working. His heart shut down. Or the remnants of it did. He couldn't do it anymore.

Tangling his hands through his dripping hair, he stared at his lap. He stopped functioning. And stayed there, sitting down, outside, on January first. Alone.

Because he now was. And he couldn't change that.

And acceptance was really far away.

**Author's Note:**

> HI! And welcome to my first ever story.  
> First of all, my mother tongue is not English, so i might not have the academic knowledge to write. BUT, i did get into some marvelous, and totally not cursed ways *coughs in wattpad, manga and "English-auto generated"* to learn this beautiful language!!  
> THESE ARE ONLY SMALL CRUMBS OF MY SOON TO BE CREATION, i didn't finish it yet, so i just wanted to upload something eheh.  
> yet again good luck, i hope you'll like it.  
> Lilee.


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